The Lost Years
by Aang Beckett
Summary: Ever wondered what Clone!Carson really went through with Michael? Well here's the story, except there's a twist. It's not the clone who's been stuck with Michael - It was the real Carson! But then...what is the Clone doing on Atlantis? Read and find out! (Also gone slightly AU without trying)
1. Chapter 1

"**Where 'm I now?" Carson woke with a start, looking around the room. As the groggy feeling slipped away and his head cleared, Carson realized he was in some sort of prison cell. It wasn't a Wraith prison cell, but his last memory was of Michael standing over him, injecting him with something…and then he'd woken up here. This had to be Michael's facility.**

**In another part of the facility, the half-Wraith, half-Human hybrid paced back and forth, stopping to look at one of the various screens now and again and let out a very Wraith-sounding snarl.**

"**Has he woken up yet?!" Michael snarled at the drone that had just walked into the room. The drone nodded in response.**

"**WELL BRING HIM HERE!" Michael roared angrily, thinking about what this human had done to him, not once, but twice. He looked at his hand, the hatred for the feeding orifice there making him even angrier. He was no longer a Wraith, but was also not human.**

******  
The cell door opened, and for a split second, Carson felt a pang of excitement. Perhaps it was his team from Atlantis, Sheppard, Rodney, Teyla and Ronon. Maybe they had come to rescue him! The twinge of disappointment that hit when the Wraith Drone appeared in the doorway lasted only a moment as the Drone reached out with his gun and gestured for Carson to follow.**

**Out of options for the moment and with no weapon or other means to resist, Carson followed the drone, two guards behind them to be sure Carson wouldn't try to escape. The drone led Carson down a long hallway that looked almost like something out of a Genii base and into a large room. Carson could see another hallway but only had a brief moment to absorb what he was seeing before a burlap sack was thrust over his head and he let out a yelp.**

"**For God's sake! What's this about?" He yelped as the sack was put over his head and tied at the neck. He stopped talking when he felt the Drone's stunner prodding his spine and began to walk. It seemed like hours of walking before he heard the familiar ping of a Wraith Cruiser's doors opening and felt the familiar squish of the organic material beneath his feet. The Drone pulled the sack off Carson's head with a yank and Carson could see that he was inside a lab of some sort.**

"**Ah, Dr. Carson Beckett. I see you finally awoke from your slumber." Michael hissed, sauntering over to Carson and running his clawed feeding hand across Carson's chest, threatening him silently.**

"**Aye and if you think I'm goin' to help you, you're bloody insane!" Carson spat the words out, glaring daggers at the Wraith-Human hybrid. He didn't yet know he'd been given the Hoffan drug and was therefore safe from Wraith feeding.**

"**Oh you'll help me alright. You're going to perfect my new retrovirus. With your help, I will create a new hybrid. One more powerful than the Wraith, that has no use for THIS," Michael raised his feeding hand, letting the orifice open and close, a look of sheer disgust on his face.**

"**I'd love to, but I don't have any equipment," The doctor tried to stall a bit longer, wondering if there was any way to get out of this without causing harm. His med school training was trying to tell him 'Do no harm,' but his time at Atlantis was telling him otherwise. There was no way to escape without doing the Drones or Michael any harm.**

"**You will have free use of this lab should you decide to help me. Should you not, I will have to offer…incentive," Michael's eyes flashed and he motioned one of the Drones over, whispering orders in its ear, or what Carson assumed was its ear.**

**The Drone left the cruiser quickly, leaving Carson alone with Michael and two other Drones who were oddly distracted from the situation. Michael flexed his feeding hand in anticipation of what was about to happen, while Carson stood sweating before him, nervous about what would happen next.**

**A few awkward moments of silent staring later, the Drone returned to the Cruiser, pushing a young woman ahead of him. She was sobbing silently, her face streaked with dirt and tears, but Carson could see she was beautiful. Her blonde hair, though bedraggled, hung to her waist and she couldn't be more than nineteen or twenty years old.**

**The Drone shoved her forward until she was between Carson and Michael. Carson looked at her face; her eyes seemed to be pleading with him to help her. She let out one loud sob and then went back to silent sniffling. Carson felt his heart breaking in two; this was a life he couldn't hope to save. Not without his Atlantis team behind him. They would come though; Rodney wouldn't let them stop looking. Not if he thought there was a chance in hell of Carson being alive. Or so Carson thought.**

**Michael reached out and placed his feeding hand on the girl's bared chest, her low cut Athosian top ripped in two around her shoulders. **

"**You could still save her. But to do that, you'd have to help me…" Michael smirked at Carson. If this man had a weakness that Michael could take advantage of, this would have to be it. Carson couldn't let an innocent girl die, could he? Michael tightened his hand on the girl's chest, beginning to suck the life out of her body.**

"**I…I can't help ye. I won't help ye," Carson tried to stand firm, his heart twisting every time the girl let out a cry for help. His voice wavered for a moment, as Michael drew more life from the girl's body. Her hair grew grey and white, her already slim figure began to shrink before Carson's eyes, and her cries grew softer. Carson watched her age, her very life force being sucked out of her by Michael's one and only true Wraith characteristic: his Feeding Hand.**

"**Alright! I'll do it! I'll help you, as long as you don't feed upon any more humans!" Carson's voice rang out, all trace of the wavering sadness gone. Carson had set his resolve; he was going to create a drug that would take away the Wraith's need to feed. It might make them tougher but it would mean he'd never have to watch Michael, or any Wraith for that matter, feed on a human again.**

**As Carson stepped forward to the nearest console to look at Michael's calculations, he winced a bit, remembering a muscle he'd pulled while climbing down a hillside on the planet, trying to check where a body had been found for anything that would have told more of the story. He pushed himself forward and continued to work, noticing the Hybrid standing over his shoulder.**

"**I see, you're due for your weekly injection. Just some sedatives I took when we left the other planet, this will keep you from trying to escape," Michael took a hypodermic needle from a tray nearby, snatched Carson's arm in his non-Feeding hand and proceeded to press the needle into the vein. Carson winced a little – he was a doctor, but he'd never been a fan of needles. Michael withdrew the needle and stepped back.**

"**Bloody hell. That hurt. Now can ye explain to me what ye have here?" Carson gestured to the screen, his Wraith was a bit rusty and he hoped to be able to stall until Sheppard launched his rescue mission, but he'd still need to know what he was talking about.**

**Michael chuckled, pleased with how easy it had been to convince the doctor to work for him. He sauntered back over to Carson and started to explain his research to him. So far, the retrovirus didn't particularly do anything but stave off the cravings to feed. He needed to rid the Wraith of the Feeding Hand altogether, not just the urge to feed. Soon, Carson was left to himself with two Drones positioned just outside the door and access to all non-lab systems blocked and encrypted.**

**Several hours later, two more Drones arrived to take him back to his cell. One pushed Carson's head into the same sack he'd worn on his way into the room and the other prodded his back with the nose of a Stunner, prodding him in the direction of the doorway. During the walk, Carson realized that the sack smelled of Athosian soil. It was a fresh, earthy scent and he inhaled it as he walked, taking in what would be his only bit of the world above for the next who knew how long.**

**He heard the creak of a stone door being shoved open, felt a sharp shove right into his spine and collapsed to his knees inside the cell. A Drone roughly pulled the sack from his head and then slammed the door as it left.**

**Carson pushed himself to his feet, exhausted from standing in the lab all day with no break. He sat down on the bench he'd woken up on earlier and pulled a thin blanket from the end of the bench. He unfolded it partially and laid it out on the bench. This would be home until the team from Atlantis would show up to rescue him. **

**With a shiver, Carson realized it was night time and it got cold down here. For the first time all day, he looked down and noticed the olive green outfit he was wearing. This wasn't the lab coat he'd been wearing back on the planet when he was trying to save Michael and the others…**

**But that didn't matter now. Here he was, trapped in Michael's grasp, being forced to work for Michael or watch Teyla's people die one by one and be unable to help them. Soon enough, Sheppard would come, Rodney and Teyla and Ronon too. They'd rescue Carson and all of the Athosian people. Carson convinced himself of this, as he lay down on the hard stone bench and allowed sleep to overcome him. His last thought as he drifted off was how nice it would be to get back to the City of Atlantis, have a hot cup of tea and perhaps a day off, fishing with Rodney.**

****

Meanwhile, Atlantis was having a time all its own.

Dr. Carson Beckett sat in his office on Atlantis, going over the recent medical records from the last of the Wraith he'd run blood tests on back on the planet. He flipped from one sheet to the next, looking for differences in the blood of the ones who had remembered. Something, anything that would determine why they'd overcome the effects of the retrovirus and how it could be kept from reoccurring next time.

A sudden shooting pain somewhere in his gut bent him double in his chair, nearly causing him to black out. Dr. Beckett grimaced through the pain, figuring Michael must have done something to him. A sharp rap on his office door dragged him out of the daze of pain and reminded him that he was still on duty.

"Come in!" Dr. Beckett pasted his usual cheeky smile on his face and willed his eyes to hold their usual twinkle. The door opened and Teyla Emmagen entered the room, a big smile on her face until she caught the Doctor's half-wince as the pain returned.

"Are you certain you are alright, Dr. Beckett?" Teyla's face changed from excited to concerned in the blink of an eye. Dr. Beckett took a moment to compose himself and clear his head of the fog the pain caused.

"Aye, I'll be fine. Just a wee sprained muscle from Michael torturin' me is all," Dr. Beckett grinned, holding back another wince as a stabbing pain shot through him like a white-hot knife.

"Alright. Colonel Sheppard's team and I have just returned from M6H-491 and we've come for the standard post-mission checkups." Teyla informed the Doctor, then with one last smile, she stepped back out into the infirmary.

Dr. Beckett finally let himself double over again as the door clicked shut behind Teyla. He felt tears spring to his eyes as the pain shot through him. He fumbled a bit through the handful of pill bottles on the desk in front of him for the one marked 'Ibuprofen' and dry-swallowed two pills. He dared not take anything stronger than Ibuprofen while he was on duty and rarely even liked to take that. He had to admit to himself that something must be wrong.

He stepped out into the main infirmary, blinking a few times in the fluorescent light. His office was lit with two lamps, one on the desk for paperwork and the other, a floor lamp next to the book case for reading and studying.

"Well, I see everyone made it back in one piece" Dr. Beckett gave his usual half-smile and began the checkups. Colonel Sheppard let out a loud sneeze, a soft groan of annoyance and then a series of sniffles, making himself the Doctor's first priority for a checkup.

"Ye seem to have a bit of a cold, Colonel. Ye'll have to drink plenty o' fluids for that and try to get some rest," Dr. Beckett's eyes sparkled as he diagnosed what had to be the simplest thing he'd diagnosed since he'd met the Colonel in Antarctica on that fateful day.

"Shouldn't I be taking, I dunno, Vitamin C or something?" The Colonel searched his mind for something to make his cold go away faster.

"Sorry son, that's a bit o' a myth. Vitamin C supplements only work if y've been takin' them right along. Starting now won't do ye a bit of good," Dr. Beckett chuckled to himself. Mercifully, he reached into his lab coat pocket and took out two small packets with the label 'Pseudoephedrine' and handed them to the Colonel, "One of those every four hours ought to clear you up enough."

When he reached Teyla, he did a basic check (blood pressure, heart rate) and then called his second-in-command, Dr. Jennifer Keller, and requested she do the more in-depth checkup (such as certain questions that would be more comfortable between females) for Teyla.

He loved her dearly, like a sister, and didn't want to make things awkward between them by pushing his limits on her personal space. Teyla gave Dr. Beckett a grateful look as he turned to Ronon and began his next checkup. These checkups were so basic that he could have done them in his sleep.

Bzzzzt! Crackle! The headset Dr. Beckett wore snapped popped with static before a voice came across it.

"Dr. Beckett, can I see you along with Colonel Sheppard and his team as soon as you're done with the post-mission protocols?" Dr. Weir's voice filled Dr. Beckett's ear.

"Aye, we'll be down as soon as we can," Dr. Beckett answered without looking up. Had he looked up, he'd have caught the sheepish look on Shep's face. Colonel Sheppard stood near the door, leaning against the wall for support while he waited for his team to finish up.

"Alright, we're done here. Dr. Weir wants to meet with us all. Jennifer, can ye keep an eye on the infirmary for me while we're absent?" Dr. Beckett slapped Ronon on the back and then flashed his usual charming grin to Dr. Keller just in time to cover a wince as the pain, though lesser now, returned.

He followed the Colonel and the rest of the team to Dr. Weir's briefing room, wondering what he was needed for. Elizabeth Weir's face was unreadable to nearly anyone, but as they walked into the room, Dr. Beckett could clearly see her skepticism.

"Carson, I'll need you to accompany Colonel Sheppard's team back to the planet they just arrived from. They say this man Lucius claims to have cures for, as he puts it, 'every known ailment' and I'd like you to run whatever tests you'll need," Elizabeth eyed him, awaiting the nod she knew was coming. Dr. Beckett obliged, giving a curt nod and turning to go and collect his supplies.

Dr. Beckett headed first to his quarters, to deposit his lab coat and khakis on the bed in a heap and grab his 'off-world' gear from the closet—minus the backpack. That, he would get from the infirmary closets. He tucked the small pistol every team member was required into the holster on his leg. As much as he hated to carry a weapon, the Doctor had to admit that after his last encounter with Michael, he could no longer avoid carrying it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A loud crash awoke Carson from his deep, dreamless sleep. He sat up too quickly, feeling the stiffness from having slept on the hard stone slab, and cringing. Stretching the best that he could, given his circumstances, he stood and went over to the open door, and found himself face to face with the same Drone who had taken him to Michael the day before. Or he thought it was the same Drone, but who could tell the difference between them? They all looked the same.**

**Once again, the sack was placed over his head and he was prodded and led down the hallways and around several turns. He was beginning to memorize the pattern of the turns. He'd be able to navigate this facility easily soon. This time the walk felt like mere moments and then he was turned loose in the lab. There, as usual, stood Michael, with a pretty Athosian girl facing him.**

"**Don't ye worry, love. I'm going to help him so he'll not feed on ye," He muttered half to himself, giving the girl as reassuring a smile as he could muster under the circumstances and headed in the direction of the main console, where he would run several simulations. Today, he noticed, several Earth laptops (probably the ones from the planet he'd been kidnapped from) had been assimilated into the lab systems, bound with the organic conduits of the ship.**

"**Remember our deal, you help me with the retrovirus, I'll refrain from feeding on the Athosians. I've brought some of your own technology to help you along," Michael's voice came from across the room, flooding Carson's ears. Carson reached for the keyboard of the console in front of him and punched a few buttons, reading as he went.**

"**I do believe I've found something," Carson was looking now at his own research on the retrovirus he had used on Michael. He'd found part of the flaw with his own retrovirus and hoped it could be used to stall Michael a little more. The Atlantis team had to have noticed his absence by now and was surely searching. It would only be a matter of time until he was found.**

"**Come. We're going to test it out." Michael took a vial of the newly synthesized retrovirus and a hypodermic needle, calling Carson to him, as well as a pair of Drones who had been holding back a writhing Wraith. Michael filled the syringe with the retrovirus and injected it into the Wraith, who fell backward with a thud. With the Drones' help, the Wraith was soon strapped to a bed nearby for observation, while Carson studied the retrovirus even more.**

**Carson turned at one point, to look at the Wraith they'd been experimenting on. He was shocked to see it had been consumed by some sort of cocoon pod, which seemed to be hatching. Out of the pod, a large Iratus Bug-like creature emerged. It lunged for Carson, as if to attack him, but was stopped short by Michael with a souped-up stunner.**

"**I still need you alive, you'll continue working on the retrovirus. I will be going away a while to study this new…creature…" Michael hissed, as two Drones (called with what was left of Michael's Wraith abilities) lifted the massive bug and carried it to a cell aboard the cruiser.**

**Carson nearly fell over as the cruiser took off, but rather than jumping to Hyperspace, landed in the Dart Bay of the nearby Hive Ship and let its passengers off. The cruiser landed once again and Carson grabbed onto a console to try to stay upright and keep his train of thought straight. **

**By now, he was alone except for two Drones posted at the door. He would work on his own retrovirus a while, try to make a permanent solution to the problem they'd run into with Michael, one that didn't involve daily injections. Perhaps then, he could get back to Atlantis and they could defeat the Wraith once and for all.**

******  
**  
Meanwhile, back on Atlantis…

"But he needs me!" Dr. Beckett squeaked out pathetically from where he sat crumpled in the corner of the Puddle Jumper. At the steering console sat Colonel Sheppard, now the only member of the Atlantis expedition who wasn't infected by Lucius' 'addictive personality' due to his cold.

"Carson. You can do this. I took McKay's research, see? Something about the 'medicine' Lucius takes, it causes him to release some kinda pheromone that affects part of the Pre-Frontral Cotrex?" Sheppard sounded out the word, playing dumb in order to get the Doctor to talk.

"Pre-Frontal Cortex? Aye, that's the part of the brain that controls positive emotions," the over-emotional doctor took a moment to think this over, slowly realizing that Sheppard might actually know what he was talking about.

"You mean literally an addictive personality? …It's rubbish!" Beckett squawked, trying to protect Lucius from Sheppard by lying.

"Buck up, Carson!" Sheppard delivered a sharp punch to Dr. Beckett's shoulder.

"YEOWW!" squealed the doctor, rubbing at what he was sure would bloom into one hell of a bruise.

A bit later, Dr. Beckett looked up into the night sky from his log by the campfire. He was grimacing, but not from the gut-wrenching pains he'd suffered earlier. Those, it seemed, had vanished with Lucius's appearance on the scene. This time, he was grimacing at the needle he'd just poked into his own vein. He pushed the plunger on the syringe in, emptying the fluid into his arm. Success! He would now be immune to Lucius' herb. Beckett shivered a little. He wasn't a fan of needles being stuck in his own body.

He could hear the crunching of the underbrush signaling that Ronon and Teyla must be nearby, so he tucked the formula into the inside pocket of his jacket and pretended to warm his hands over the fire.

"That thing on stun?" He heard Sheppard ask from behind him. Ronon flashed the gun's handle at Sheppard, showing that the settings said stun. Sheppard grimaced at the thought and then nodded. A loud zap sounded and then a dull thud as an unconscious Sheppard hit the ground.

"Ye came for me!" Beckett cried out, trying to mimic himself under the effects of the herb Lucius was using. He jumped up and ran with Ronon and Teyla back to the Jumper.

"Why'd you have to shoot him? Now we have to carry him," McKay groused, trudging along on one side of Sheppard, while Ronon held Shep up from the other side.

Back at Atlantis, Dr. Beckett prepared a syringe of the formula he and Colonel Sheppard had devised and then placed a small vial labeled 'ATA Gene Therapy' on the tray next to several needles.

"Lucius, it's ready, ma' friend," He said into his headset, pushing the plunger only slightly to watch an arc of the fluid rise out of the needle tip. Perfect.

"Will I be able to fly one of those ships?" Lucius begged anxiously as he perched on one of the examination beds and let Dr. Beckett roll up his sleeve and rub at his arm with an alcohol pad. Dr. Beckett nodded and smiled his cheekiest smile, positioning the needle and inserting it into Lucius's arm. The man jumped a little at the sting and winced as Beckett pushed the plunger in, releasing the antidote into Lucius.

"It'll take about an hour to work. For now, rest, dear friend," Beckett smiled gently, taping a bit of gauze over the small puncture the needle had caused and helping Lucius lay back on the bed.

Later, in the Jumper, Lucius took his seat at the controls. In the control room, Teyla, Ronon, Dr. Elizabeth Weir and Rodney McKay stood watching the monitors. Suddenly, the Jumper Bay doors started to open.

"Fly, Lucius, fly!" McKay cheered for the jumper and the man he assumed was flying it.

"Lucius." Colonel Sheppard stepped out of the shadows.

"Colonel Sheppard. Dr. Beckett, I thought he was in prison?" Lucius questioned the doctor he'd assumed was his greatest friend on Atlantis.

"Not anymore," Sheppard spoke up, pushing in and taking the controls from Lucius.

"Nope, you no longer have any effect on me. That inoculation I gave ye," Dr. Beckett said to Lucius.

"Not the ATA gene?" Lucius sighed.

"No. An antidote to your herb," Dr. Beckett explained, exiting the jumper and leaving Sheppard with Lucius.

"Now we can have that nice long talk you wanted to have. But the only thing you'll do is catch my cold," Colonel Sheppard sniffled, aware that the medicine had worn off and his cold was back.

"How long will you keep me here?" Lucius asked nervously, remembering his planet and the village full of his adoring people.

"Oh, just long enough for Dr. Beckett to give the antidote to everyone on base," Sheppard flew the Jumper up and over the city.

"And then you'll send me home?" Lucius inquired, nervously.

"Yes. AFTER Dr. Beckett gives them all some of the antidote to your herb," Sheppard explained, taking another pass around the city and heading towards the mainland. He'd keep Lucius busy until either Carson or Elizabeth radioed in that it was safe to return.


	3. Chapter 3

**Carson pushed several buttons on the nearest Atlantis laptop, pulling up his own research. He glanced at the familiar screen, memories rushing into his head. Instead of trying to push the memories away, Carson gave in and let them wash through his mind, reminding him of so many wonderful people and allowing himself to think about what they might be doing right now.**

_**Laura Cadman…they were supposed to go out on a date later this week, but that would have to be rescheduled. **_

_**Rodney could be a real ass sometimes, but Carson missed him. What he wouldn't give to hear Rodney ranting about the Wraith or sun radiation or something about now.**_

_**Elizabeth. He imagined her gentle, yet firm voice welcoming him back to Atlantis as it had so many others (lt. Ford, Teyla and her people, even Carson himself once or twice).**_

_**Colonel Sheppard. He'd be doing his best to bring Carson back to Atlantis; the man never could leave a person behind, even if the wraith were an immediate threat. He'd even tried to save Col. Sumner's life when they'd first gotten to Atlantis.**_

_**Ronon would be right there alongside Sheppard, fighting to save Carson, the doctor who'd saved his life. Carson remembered doing surgery to remove the tracking device, Ronon still awake and aware of the doctor up until the end.**_

_**Teyla, the gentle, beautiful Athosian lass, she'd be trying to connect with Michael through the Wraith neural link to try to locate Carson. As much as he hoped she wouldn't risk her life like that, he knew nobody would be able to talk her out of it.**_

_**And then there was Radek. He'd be working alongside Rodney, probably saving Atlantis for the umpteenth time by now.**_

**In the midst of all this, Carson was aboard Michael's cruiser, working on a retrovirus. That would mean that either Amanda Cole or Jennifer Keller was in charge in the infirmary. Both would do a brilliant job in his place, but neither would want to admit he was gone.**

**What Carson didn't know was that far across the galaxy, in the city of Atlantis, all was not going as he envisioned it. His team was quite unaware that he was missing. Actually, as far as they could tell, Dr. Beckett had never left them. They'd rescued him from Michael and brought him back to Atlantis, safe and sound. Hadn't they?**

**Carson stood in Michael's lab, painfully aware that the team hadn't rescued him from Michael back on the planet, but assuming they'd tried. He kept up hope that they would be planning his rescue soon enough and that his time at this facility would be nearing its end soon.**

**He began the tiring work of deciphering Michael's retrovirus, realizing that the cruiser had 'grown' a seat in front of the consoles and letting himself sit down. This would be more comfortable than standing for that long, but not by much. The organic conduits of the ship weren't the best cushion.**

**Tapping out a few short bits of code on the Atlantis laptop, he uploaded all of the Wraith's data to his laptop and merged the two data sets into one screen. Now he could look at his own retrovirus as well as Michael's at the same time and figure out what had really gone wrong.**

**Perhaps it was nothing, but something about how Michael always threatened the Athosians instead of Carson bothered him. Why would Michael not just threaten Carson? He could return whatever life he took if Carson decided to help, couldn't he? **

**Instead, every day, he brought one Athosian to the lab and bribed Carson to work by sparing their lives if he worked. Carson kept up working every day without fail; he would see no more of Teyla's people be killed needlessly.**

*******  
**  
In Atlantis, Dr. Beckett was in a pickle of his own. It was fairly late at night and the shooting pains had returned. He thanked his lucky stars – or rather the scheduling staff on Atlantis – that he'd been scheduled to be the only one on call in the infirmary that night as another stabbing pain doubled him over.

He made his way across the infirmary to the supply cases and picked out a needle and syringe to take a sample of his own blood. Clenching his teeth and steeling himself against the sting, he extracted a sample of his own blood and began running tests on the samples.

While these tests were running, the doctor decided to scan himself to be sure nothing was critically wrong. He'd only bring another physician in on the situation if it wasn't something he could handle on his own. No need to worry the rest of Atlantis over himself if it wasn't that serious.

Dr. Beckett pressed some buttons on the scanner, laid his lab coat over a chair nearby and then positioned himself on the scanner. He'd set the computer to record his results and in the dimly lit infirmary, the low buzz of the scanner was almost comforting to him.

After the familiar buzz of the scanner stopped, he levered himself up off the scanner bed and pulled his lab coat back on. He took the results of both the blood tests and the scans on a tablet computer (bloody irritating technology though it was, but Rodney had insisted the infirmary have the most current systems) and headed for his office.

Once settled into the comfortable chair at his desk, he set the tablet computer on the stand Rodney had set up for him and began to read. His brow furrowed in concern as the scan results seemed to show necrosis in his internal organs. Perhaps the scanner was malfunctioning.

Flipping the screen to the blood test results, Dr. Beckett pulled up a previous sample of his own blood from the database to compare with the current one. He stripped away the components of the blood that matched, leaving only one set of proteins that didn't match. The DNA was that of Dr. Carson Beckett, but with a couple of percent difference. How was this possible?

The doctor felt himself growing hot, the lab coat beginning to chafe at the back of his neck. Suddenly the lights in the office seemed much brighter than usual and the office seemed much smaller. It couldn't be true, could it? He went through some more results, hoping for a different answer. Doing a further analysis of the DNA (he was after all a geneticist, wasn't he? He had discovered the ATA gene and by extension, created the gene therapy that would allow anyone to have the ATA gene) he discovered something that only proved his nightmare true.

In the words he or Jennifer might use to explain all of this to Sheppard, the 'telomeres' on the chromosomes in his DNA were thirty percent shorter than they should be for a man of his age. Dr. Beckett pushed the tablet computer away from him and laid his head in his hands, letting out a sigh.

"This can't be true. I can't be nothin' but a bloody copy of myself!" Dr. Beckett muttered under his breath, head still in his hands. Feeling nothing but numbness, he sat in silence for the next few moments, listening absently to the security detail murmuring to one another through the headset he wore.

At that very moment, Dr. Weir appeared in the office doorway.

"Oh, hello love!" Dr. Beckett exclaimed, quickly reaching out to darken the screen of the tablet and mentally compose himself.

"Carson. One of the lieutenants on duty in the control room tonight said that there was a small power spike in here as I was heading to my quarters. I was just making sure everything was alright," Elizabeth tilted her head to one side and laid a hand on the doctor's shoulder. Her hand on his lab coat-clad shoulder brought all of the emotions rushing back to him, overcoming the numbness and hitting him like a ton of bricks.

In his heart, Dr. Beckett wanted to push her hand away and tell her that he wasn't really Dr. Beckett. To let Elizabeth in on what he'd just found, that he was only a mere clone and that the true Dr. Carson Beckett might be out there somewhere. He wanted to have someone else know his feelings and, he admitted to himself, he wanted someone to comfort him for once, as he was always there to comfort others.

In his mind, he knew Elizabeth would make finding the original her priority and that he, the clone, would end up in an isolation room or prison cell until they figured out what to do with him. He knew that Atlantis couldn't spare the team members right now to search for Carson nor could they spare him from the Infirmary. With that thought, he knew he would have to keep his secret to himself and provide 'Dr. Beckett' for them until the time was right to set them searching for him.

"I was only checkin' in on some o' my patients here, I must've tripped a switch on one of the devices in the dark, I don't keep the bright lights on at night. Patients sleep easier in the dim lighting," Dr. Beckett (if he could call himself that) explained, reaching up to touch her hand. In Elizabeth's mind, he _was_ Dr. Beckett and he would have to keep that up for her.

Even though he was a clone, Dr. Beckett still had all the memories of his original counterpart and therefore all the attachments to his friends, family and home. He would have to pretend everything was alright, hide the results of these tests, and most of all, work on a cure for this cellular degradation.

"I'm still me. I may be a clone, but to everyone else on Atlantis, I am still Dr. Carson Beckett." Dr. Beckett reminded himself after Elizabeth had headed to her quarters. He reached for the tablet computer. He glanced at the test results one last time, his heart twisting painfully and the tears returning to his eyes. Wishing he could forget what he'd found, Dr. Beckett placed all of the test results into a folder on the computer and encrypted them with a password. Tomorrow would be soon enough to start working on a cure for his condition.

With that, Dr. Beckett put the tablet back on the desk and turned to go and check on his patients (for real this time) and try to get his mind off of his disturbing discovery for a while. He couldn't help one last thought on his way out the door. _Where in Pegasus could the real Carson Beckett be?_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks to Sparky She-Demon for her support while I write The Lost Years _

**Several days went by before Carson realized what seemed so amiss about his situation. It wasn't that Colonel Sheppard hadn't come yet, it might take him months to find the right planet and then rescue Carson. What was amiss was the absence of the buzz and hum of Atlantis in his head. Carson had become accustomed to the city's constant buzz in the back of his head, how the city reacted in an instant to his thoughts and wishes. Here, nothing responded without some forcing.**

**Carson was standing in the cruiser lab once more, working with the retrovirus. He'd managed to push his own retrovirus research far enough to figure out a temporary solution to the memory problem, and in turn used the initial research to work on Michael's virus. It was a risk he took, doing his own research on the days when Michael was away at other facilities throughout Pegasus.**

"**Oh for God's sake!" Carson exclaimed in frustration, startling the drone that was guarding the door. He stared at the screen on the console in front of him, wondering how the fourteenth simulation in a row had failed. **

**Several hurried clicks later, Carson noticed something about this strain of the virus. It wasn't turning the Wraith cells human, but it was doing something else. It was closing the feeding orifice in the hand, not completely, but it was a start.**

**Silently, he moved to a 'bed' at the other side of the room, watching the Wraith drone that was strapped there warily.**

"**If this thing moves, God help me…" Carson muttered, using what tools he'd been allowed in order to take a sample of living tissue from the Wraith's Feeding Hand. He felt a twinge inside as he removed the tissue sample. Experimenting on any living being bothered Carson. **

"**First, do no harm…" He whispered, reminding himself of what he'd learned in Med School. He was at a loss to figure out how he could possibly 'do no harm' given the circumstances, but remembering this phrase gave him something to hold on to, an ultimate goal to reach for.**

**Shivering once more, he took the sample back to the console he'd been working at. He took the petri dish (it was clear Michael was raiding Atlantis's off-world laboratories in order to make Carson's work go faster) and placed the Wraith tissue into it. One more experiment, one more chance to get this right.**

**Drip. Clink. The silence in the room was so strong that Carson could hear the sound of the drop of fluid retrovirus he'd added to the dish as it hit the glass. He watched through the microscope lens as the virus attacked the Wraith cells, turning the cells from the Hand into basic Wraith cells. **_**SUCCESS! **_**For the first time in days, Carson wore a slight half-smile as he continued to work.**

"**Have you made any progress?" Michael's Wraith-like roar echoed through the lab as he threw the Drone to the side and stormed into the room. Carson spun around, a nervous gulp escaping him. Michael was in one of his worse moods today.**

"**I-I have made some progress on the retrovirus, it'll not be ready for widespread distribution as of yet, but it's progress, all the same," Carson said nervously, turning back to the console and pulling up the results of the last three tests he'd run. He could feel the cold, clammy sweat on the back of his neck.**

"**Good. You are proving your usefulness, Dr. Beckett. Drones! Take him back to his cell. I wouldn't want to over-work him, I still have need of his services," Michael growled, ordering the drones standing in the doorway to come and take Carson away. He breathed in, ready by now for the sack that he knew all too well.**

**He could hear Michael's pacing somewhere behind him, the muffled thuds of drones hitting the wall, and the roar of the angry Wraith-hybrid.**

"**I need something powerful enough to stop the Lanteans. They MUST BE STOPPED!" Michael's roar echoed throughout the cruiser, causing Carson to jump slightly and feel the nose of the Wraith stunner in his spine all the more.**

**Once again in the dark, he trudged along behind the first drone. He should have been happier than he was to have the rest of the day to rest, but the idea of an entire day inside that little stone cell was enough to make a man clinically insane.**

_**A day…**_** Carson thought as he walked. **_**Is it even daytime? For all I can tell, they've got me working a night shift here. How many days has it even been? Who knows?**_

**As Carson was thinking this, a gray-green colored hand flashed in front of him and the torch light nearly blinded him as the sack was pulled off his head once again. He made his way over to the pathetic, slightly disheveled little bed on the stone bench and sat down, a loud sigh escaping him. **

**With one last thought, Carson picked up a shard of rock from the floor nearby and began to scratch marks into the wall to mark off how many 'days' he'd been in Michael's prison. **_**Sheppard and his team will come for me soon; Elizabeth will send them to find me… **_

**Carson kept up hope that he would be rescued, not a shadow of doubt in his mind that his team, his family on Atlantis, would be looking for him. It was this thought, this shred of hope that drove Carson to stand up each day, make his way to Michael's lab, and do his best to make progress with his research, albeit without giving the Wraith anything that they could use against Atlantis.**

In Atlantis, however…

Rodney barreled through the gate, babbling noisily and wincing in pain. He exploded out of the watery blue surface, into Atlantis's 'gate room' and collapsed, all the while babbling on.

"McKay! Where are Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla?" Dr. Elizabeth Weir stalked down the steps towards Rodney, hoping to get an answer. Shwoop! The event horizon of the gate dissolved, closing the wormhole.

"Sheppard and Teyla were right behind me. Ronon was captured. Must save them! Must go back and save them!" Rodney muttered incoherently. Dr. Weir looked down at him, the first thing she noticed being the crude arrow sticking out of his rump.

Snap! Pop! Dr. Beckett's comm headset burst to life, startling him away from the research he was doing.

"Dr. Beckett, I need you and a medical team down here. Rodney's got, er, an arrow that needs to be removed," Elizabeth barked into her headset, while one of the SOs nearby was stifling a laugh at Rodney's expense. Sure, he was in pain and that wasn't funny, but the incoherent babbling and the placement of the arrow...

"Aye, we'll be right there!" Dr. Beckett responded instantly. He reached for a nearby Med-Kit and grabbed a dose of morphine and a roll of gauze (to stop any bleeding), thrusting them into his lab coat's pocket and calling the two nurses closest to him to grab a stretcher and follow him just in case.

Dr. Beckett and the nurses jogged down the halls of the city, every door before them opening with just a thought on Dr. Beckett's part. He thanked the Ancients mentally for this as he trotted with ease across the control tower to Stargate Operations.

The doors to Stargate Operations slid open, revealing the comical scene of Rodney in a heap on the floor with an arrow protruding from his rump, Dr. Weir standing over him with her hands placed on her slim hips and two Marines trying to question the collapsed Rodney. Dr. Beckett pretended to cough to stifle a chuckle, he could see that Rodney would be fine, it would leave no mark aside from a sore bottom.

"Alright, help me get 'im on the gurney now, lad," Dr. Beckett motioned one of the nurses (a young man) over to him and together, they tried to lift Rodney onto the gurney. Rodney squalled in pain and writhed away, lifting his head to look up at the Doctor.

"Ow Carson, are you TRYING to hurt me?! God!" Rodney reached one hand back to feel the arrow and winced.

"Rodney, can you stand up?" Dr. Beckett was a little surprised by Rodney's lucidity, considering he'd been babbling incoherently a moment before. Rodney nodded, trying to lever himself up, and then cringed.

"Ah, I know what'll help ye," Dr. Beckett pulled the syringe from his lab coat pocket, pulling the lid off and holding it between his teeth. One hand on Rodney's arm, locating the vein and the other holding the syringe, he didn't even warn Rodney before jabbing the needle in and letting the Morphine dull Rodney's aching rump.

The doctor and nurse duo tried once again to lift Rodney onto the gurney and this time succeeded. The two Marines followed as the two nurses and Dr. Beckett wheeled Rodney down to the infirmary, one of them questioning the now drugged Rodney about Teyla and Sheppard.

"I've got to remove the arrow; can I ask you lads to wait out here until I'm done?" Dr. Beckett inquired, motioning to the Marines to wait outside the infirmary and picking out a few supplies he'd need for the surgery, including an IV drip bag of Morphine.

"Rodney, will ye stop squirming while I do this!" Dr. Beckett's patience was wearing thin as the other man squirmed about on the treatment table. Beckett pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to stave off the headache he felt coming on.

"Carson, you're trying to pull an arrow out of my ASS. What do you expect?!" Rodney McKay wailed, twitching again.

"I expect a wee bit of gratitude, I could've just let ye lie there and not done a thing," Dr. Beckett tried to sound light-hearted, though his nerves were wearing thin. He reached over to the valve on the Morphine drip and opened it a bit more, adding to the dose that McKay was already getting.

Less than a moment later, the astrophysicist was passed out on the treatment table. Whether it was from pain or from Morphine, Dr. Beckett didn't particularly care at the moment. He was just grateful the scientist would be silent and still long enough for the procedure.

Roughly an hour later, Rodney still laid there on his stomach. He was awake, but not exactly lucid, and Dr. Beckett's patience was all but gone.

"Lookit all the colors…all the pretty horsies…" Rodney murmured, the effects of the Morphine making him sound like a three year old in a toy store.

"What's he talking about?" Dr. Weir stood across the bed from Dr. Beckett, looking at McKay with a sort of mystified expression.

"I gave him some Morphine for the pain," Dr. Beckett clarified why Rodney's babbling was even less coherent than when he arrived.

"Dr. McKay! Sheppard, Ronon and Teyla. WHERE ARE THEY?! I NEED TO KNOW," A Marine stood over McKay, barking questions in his face.

"Have you seen a guy…he looks like you, but he's got messy hair? I think I lost him somewhere...oh, and a pretty girl and a caveman too," McKay muttered more to himself than to the Marine. Elizabeth Weir looked over at Dr. Beckett, one eyebrow raised in questioning.

"…I may have given him a wee bit too much," Dr. Beckett confessed, "But he was makin' it impossible to treat 'im!"

"Why 'm I lying here?" McKay drawled, sounding drunk more than anything else.

"You've had an ARROW, Rodney. In your Gluteus Maximus," Carson stated matter-of-factly, shaking his head in disbelief.

"That sounds painful..." Rodney muttered to himself, still in a thick daze.

"Let me know if he starts making sense," Elizabeth tilted her head to one side for a moment before turning on her heel and leading the Marines out of the room.

"Gluteus maximussss…gloootussss maaaaximussss…Oh shit! That's my ass, isn't it?!" Rodney exclaimed, the Morphine high beginning to fade off.

"Aye," Dr. Beckett gave a slight half-smile in amusement and set back to work, bandaging Rodney's wound. _How in the bloody hell did he manage to get an arrow in his rump? _Carson asked himself, wondering what sort of tale Rodney would spin about it to protect his manliness.


	5. Chapter 5

_I think you'll like this one, Sparky…someone special makes her first appearance in this chapter…:D_

For just that one brief, fleeting moment, Carson's hopes soared. This didn't sound like Drones coming down the hallway, it was a heavier step, and more footsteps than he'd heard since the planet he'd been taken from. Was that the sound of guns being cocked? Carson didn't know if he'd ever been so glad to hear that sound before. He stood and walked over to the cell door, sorting out a kink in his shoulder along the way. He'd be ready and waiting when Sheppard came through that door.

What he heard wasn't Sheppard though. The voice that reached his ears was familiar, but not Atlantis personnel. It was Genii. Someone the Genii had sent on an Intel check, no doubt. The voice barked out some orders, something Carson couldn't quite understand, and then the sounds of Wraith stun weapons filled the air and the sounds of the Genii men couldn't be heard anymore.

Carson sat down hard on the stone bench, put his head in his hands, and just sat there for a moment. Thoughts swirled in his head, the retrovirus, the Hoffan drug, the Atlantis team, his infirmary on Atlantis, Laura Cadman and their date. All these things leading back to one thought.

_If only I hadn't started research on that bloody retrovirus! This bloody mess never would have happened and I'd be back on Atlantis!_

Carson looked up as the door to his cell creaked open. This was becoming a routine so mind-numbingly _the same_ every day that Carson was standing up and walking over to the drones for the obligatory head-sack almost before he realized it.

His feet followed the now-familiar pattern of turns and bends as if he'd never gone anywhere else in his life but this room, but his mind was more on Atlantis. By now, he assumed, something must have happened to keep them from finding him. They would come, but it would be a bit longer than he'd hoped.

The same prodding feeling of the stunner nose in his spine kept him moving mindlessly towards the laboratory, though it no longer hurt the way it had when it had happened the first time. Now it was just one more annoying reminder of how he was being forced to work for Michael.

"_Volunteering someone's help without asking – why, it's not even volunteering is it? It's bein' pressed into service!" _Carson recalled what he'd said nearly two years ago when Colonel Sheppard had insisted he go through the Stargate to Hoff to help with their Anti-Wraith drug.

"_Charming! Perfectly charming!" _Carson also recalled how quickly his tune had changed when the angel in a lab coat, Perna, had come to check on his progress. She had been a lovely young lass and they'd had a close friendship. Carson could feel his eyes filling with tears when the memory of Perna clinging to him as she lay dying because of the drug _he_ had helped to create filled his mind. In his mind, he could see her face, ghostly white, making her look like a lovely porcelain doll. She'd been so happy, even at the very end. Carson could feel his heart twist painfully at the memory, but with the sack over his head and a Stunner poking into his back, he couldn't reach up to wipe away the one tear that dripped down his face.

"Do no harm. I've surely failed at that several times over by now," Carson snorted to himself, almost laughing at his predicament. It really was sort of amusing when he thought of it this way. Trapped by a half-Wraith 'Frankenstein' of his own creation, being forced to do his own research (the retrovirus)…it was the punishment for breaking the oath he'd taken in medical school—to be forced to work on the very things that had caused him to break the oath in the first place.

What seemed like seconds later, Carson found himself once again in the laboratory, surrounded by the consoles and screens filled with information. He went to the main console to open his research, but a cold, clammy hand on his shoulder stopped him dead.

"Dr. Beckett, there's been a change in your research plans. You will be working on the Hoffan drug instead of the retrovirus today," Michael snarled. Carson turned to face Michael, total disbelief written all over his face.

"How 'M I suppose to do that? All of the research was left on Hoff-" Carson started to object, until he noticed what was in Michael's hand. A Wraith memory device glistened as Carson put together the thoughts all flying through his head. Michael had somehow saved the research. This meant Hoff had been culled. Perna's people would no longer be able to keep up their legacy, but Carson could keep up Perna's legacy himself. He took the device from Michael and expertly attached it to the console he was working at, beginning to flip through the screens of research…

****  
**In Atlantis, however, things were not going as planned…**

"**Carson, how could you forget we had a date tonight?!" A female voice shattered the peaceful silence of the Doctor's private office, shrill and angry, waking Dr. Beckett suddenly. He sat up; lifting his head from the desk where he'd accidentally dozed, and saw her standing in the doorway. **

**A quick glance at his watch showed that it was eight-thirty in the evening, which would explain the blonde tornado that was tearing through his office. He'd accidentally fallen asleep and missed his scheduled date.**

"**Love, you know I wouldn't just **_**not show up**_** when I knew ye were expectin' me!" Dr. Beckett stood up from his desk, reaching out to Lieutenant Laura Cadman. He touched her cheek gently, and she jumped, startled out of her anger for a moment. As he pulled his hand back, one of her smaller, delicate hands flew up to grab his larger, rougher hand.**

"**Carson, you need to tell me why you didn't come, or even tell me you couldn't do it tonight. Something's been wrong for weeks now, I can help if you'd just tell me what it is," Laura's eyes glossed over, showing her true feelings. She was hurt, more than a little frustrated, but Dr. Beckett could see that all she wanted was the truth.**

"**Laura, Love, I had a busy afternoon and I fell asleep by mistake. If I'd woken up before ye found me, I'd have come straight away," Carson apologized sincerely, hoping he wouldn't have to explain any further.**

"**Carson, it's not just tonight, it's not just about the **_**date**_**. You've been a little distant with me for the last two weeks or more, we haven't even had a quiet evening together since what happened with Michael," Laura prodded gently. She didn't want to scare him off by asking too many questions, but she wanted to know why her lover had been so distant.**

"**Love, I think I need to explain some things…" Dr. Beckett flashed back to his memories of the day he and Laura Cadman had met. **

_**They'd been off world, she'd volunteered for what Sheppard would call 'babysitting duty' –watching over the scientists and Dr. Beckett while they gathered samples, read Ancient and Wraith text and did whatever else needed to be done. She'd liked Dr. Beckett from the start; she'd saved him from the Wraith Dart and risked her own life for him. Okay, so their first kiss hadn't exactly been a fairytale…in fact it had been the exact opposite, but they'd looked past it.**_

**At least, that was what Dr. Beckett remembered. He was painfully aware that he was not **_**her**_** Dr. Beckett, he was merely a copy.**

"**But first I need to know, can ye keep a secret? Can I depend on ye to not tell Elizabeth or Colonel Sheppard? Ye can't even tell Rodney or Teyla though," Dr. Beckett sighed, looking into Laura's eyes. He had to know she could and would keep his secret.**

"**Oh Carson, you know I'll keep your secret, no matter what it is," Laura placed both of her hands on one of Carson's and looked into is crystal clear blue eyes. She could see right through him in a way, she knew that whatever he was about to tell her was very, very hard for him.**

"**I'm…not who…what ye think I am. I'm not Dr. Carson Beckett. I mean, for all intents an' purposes, I am…but I'm not the original. Laura, Love, I'm a clone-" Dr. Beckett sank into his chair, his face contorting with pain for a moment, and looked up at Laura.**

"**Oh Carson…you mean…the man I love is trapped out **_**there **_**somewhere?" Laura swept a hand towards the window, towards **_**space**_**, "You really should tell someone, or let me tell someone. We need t-to rescue him," Laura's voice wavered as she realized that the man standing before her was not the man she loved, but an identical look alike. He was nothing but a copy of Carson Beckett.**

**Laura could feel her heart shattering into a million pieces, but she couldn't show that. He may have been a clone, but this Carson still had the same sensitive heart as her Carson and just seeing his face if he knew how crushed she was…it would break her heart further.**

"**Aye, I'd love to tell someone, Lass, but what do ye think they'd do to me? They might keep me prisoner, if I'm lucky, but Atlantis would be without its Chief of Medicine and I can't let that happen," Dr. Beckett smiled sadly, knowing that telling someone on Atlantis would be the right thing to do, given the circumstances, "And I need ye to help me keep this under wraps."**

"**Well, Carson, that won't be a problem. Our date tonight, I was going to tell him…you…that I'm going back to Earth. I've been transferred back to the SGC for the time being. I may be back on Atlantis after that, and I hope that **_**my**_** Carson will be the one standing in the Gate Room to welcome me back to Atlantis when that day comes," Laura said coldly, and Dr. Beckett saw the one hot tear that she felt roll down her face.**

"**Love, I promise I'll bring him back for ye. I'll make sure your Carson gets back to Atlantis, safe and sound; no matter what happens. He wouldn't want you this upset—I know it, because I feel what he would feel –and it's crushin' me to see ye like this. He loves ye, I can feel that as well…I promise he'll be here when ye return," Dr. Beckett gave Laura his signature charming smile, his blue eyes searching her face for some sign that she had accepted his promise.**

"**Thank you. It means so much to me that you're willing to do that…it means a lot that you told me the truth too, actually," Laura brushed away two more large tears, trying not to lose her cool. It wouldn't do for a Marine Lieutenant to show up for the dial-out looking like an emotional wreck.**

**Dr. Beckett gave a cheeky grin and a knowing look, before moving to wrap his arms around Laura. He hugged her close, feeling her tense body relax into his own body and her arms wrap securely around him. The burning passion that swept through Carson threw him for a loop, as he tried to fight it. All he wanted was to take her to his quarters, have their "quiet night alone," but he couldn't. He wasn't her boyfriend, only a copy of the man she loved.**

**Laura's hands shook as she let go and pulled back from Carson, breathing in his familiar scent one last time and looking into his deep, deep blue eyes for a moment. Carson broke her gaze, leaning down to plant a gentle kiss on her cheek before letting go of her for the final time and watching her walk away.**

"**I promise, Laura-Love, I promise. I'll bring your Dr. Beckett back to you," Carson whispered after Laura, before heading out into the brightly lit infirmary. He was supposed to be off duty that night, but instead, he would stay in the infirmary and work.**

**He couldn't face the thought of his lonely, empty quarters waiting for him. Sometimes he'd longed for that space, where he could escape from the world. Today, however, he wanted to escape from the loneliness. He needed the familiar, constant hustle and bustle of the infirmary to keep him sane.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here is the long-awaited Chapter 6! I'm sorry it took so long, had a heap of homework to do among other things. And then my laptop did updates and deleted 3 pages of this chapter, temporarily taking my muse with it. I finally resurrected her and got the 3 pages redone, perhaps better than before.**

**-Sorry, no angst-filled memories from the ****_real Carson_**** this time, as I had enough inspiration to have the Clone take up a whole chapter to himself. Don't worry, poor Carson will get some attention very soon!**

* * *

The sun streamed through the panes of glass all across Atlantis as it rose, shedding rays of pure light on the hallways of the city. It was a beautiful day and it should have been peaceful, but peace never lasts on Atlantis...

Dr. Carson Beckett didn't stop to admire the gorgeous sun as he raced across the city at a fast clip. The familiar hum and buzz of the city waking up sounded in his head, but he tuned it out this morning, in no mood to stop and listen. He was on his way to the transporter, he needed to find Elizabeth. There was something very important he had to tell her.

"Carson?" A voice behind him made him jump, as he'd been expecting to be alone at this hour of the morning. Turning around, he found Teyla standing behind him, her face somewhere between concerned and tired.

"Oh Teyla, Love, ye caught me on ma way to Dr. Weir's office, I've got a meetin' with her this mornin'" Carson smiled, but Teyla caught the hollow look in his eyes. Emptiness, as if something he'd loved very much had been taken from him.

"I'm sorry, I can wait and speak to you afterwards," Teyla smiled, laying a hand on Carson's arm before turning down the hallway towards her quarters.

Carson resumed his path to the control room, stepping into the nearest transporter, studying the map and picking the transporter closest to Elizabeth's office. He stood for a moment outside Elizabeth's office, gathering his wits about him. He would take whatever punishment she gave, as long as he could bring the real Carson back for Laura Cadman.

With a deep breath, Carson opened the door to Dr. Elizabeth Weir's office and stepped inside. Dr. Weir looked up from the paperwork she was shuffling on her desk, her eyes questioning Carson. He knew that look, she was aware something was going on but she didn't know what.

"Elizabeth, I don't exactly know how to say this –It never gets any easier—but I was doin' some research the other night and I found somethin' important," Carson held up the tablet computer he'd been carrying with him.

"How important is this?" Elizabeth put down her pile of paperwork and motioned for Carson to have a seat, which he did gratefully.

"I was doin' some research an' I did a blood test on myself to be sure. That night ye found me in my office? I'd been doin' scans on m'self to check on somethin'. That's what caused the power spike in the Infirmary," Carson started off slowly, taking a deep breath, "Elizabeth, I'm not your Carson Beckett."

"What are you talking about?" Elizabeth wasn't sure what to think, as she stared at the man across the desk from her. He sure looked likeCarson Beckett…and sounded like him too.

"I'm a clone. I found in my test results that the telomeres on ma chromosomes are about thirty percent shorter than they ought to be for a man of my age, which would suggest I was created from adult DNA, probably by the Wraith," Carson confessed, looking into Elizabeth's eyes. She blinked, her mind trying to digest all of the information Carson had just given her.

"You're…a clone of Dr. Carson Beckett?" Elizabeth questioned, hoping she'd forgotten April fool's day or something else just as silly.

"Aye, I am. I wish I were the original Carson Beckett, but I fear he's been taken to one of Michael's facilities and I haven't a clue which," Carson looked sad, truly sad. Elizabeth took pity on him for a moment, because he seemed so like the Carson she knew.

"Elizabeth, I need to ask you for a favor. I need to find the real Carson and bring him back here. Last night, I made a promise to Laura Cadman that I would make sure he was here when she returns," Carson's pleading eyes struck a chord in Elizabeth's heart, but her thoughts whirled uncontrollably.

_He's a clone! As the head of Atlantis, the IOA would have me replaced if they knew I have him running around here. But as his friend, I can't very well lock him away without any explanation._

"Carson…I don't know what I can do. I'll get John and his team in here and we'll figure this out. We'll find the, er, original Carson," Elizabeth smiled at Carson, her face the picture of both fear (for the original Carson's life) and amusement (at the predicament she'd just landed in).

"Colonel Sheppard, I need you and your team to report to the briefing room immediately. It's about Doctor Beckett," Elizabeth pressed the button on her comm link and spoke into it, trying to keep her voice from sounding strained. Six in the morning and already her day was off to a very weird start, even for Atlantis.

"Carson, after we finish this meeting, and assuming Colonel Sheppard is alright with it, you will be free to resume your…duties at the Infirmary until we bring _our_ Carson home, at which point you will be able to decide whether you'd like to stay here on Atlantis or make yourself a place on one of our off-world bases," Elizabeth told Carson. After all, he'd given neither her nor the rest of the city's inhabitants any reason not to trust him, and having a second Carson on hand might come in handy.

"Thank you, Elizabeth. Ye don't know what it means to me that ye trust me so fully still," Carson gave Elizabeth his best cheeky half-smile, his eyes now twinkling. At that moment, a sharp, stabbing pain doubled him over, almost knocking him to the floor.

"Oh yes, there is one other…side effect of being a clone," Carson remembered out loud, "I have some cellular degradation—that is, my cells are malfunctioning all at once and causing my organs to fail."

"Oh Carson—" Elizabeth started to say something to Carson, only to be stopped by the door to her office slipping open and four members of a very sleepy SG-team wandering in.

"You called?" Colonel Sheppard walked sleepily into the room, shooting a half-smile at Elizabeth. He was followed by Rodney (clutching a mug of coffee with both hands and complaining that it was too early), Ronon (giving Rodney his best shut-up-or-I'll-shoot-you glare) and Teyla (the only one of the team who looked to have been up for hours already).

"Yes Colonel Sheppard, I did. We have a small problem here," Elizabeth started off, gesturing towards Carson, who felt about as awkward now as the other Carson had nearly two and a half years back when the expedition had begun. He looked around the room at the team members, his heart twisting as he realized they weren't _his_ SGA-1 team members.

"What seems to be the problem, Doctor Weir?" Teyla had picked up on Elizabeth's formality, and kept it up as she asked what she perceived to be a simple question. The problem was, as usual, that on Atlantis, even the simplest questions usually don't have a simple answer.

"There is no easy way to say this…the man seated in front of you is not _our_ Carson Beckett. Doctor Beckett came to me this morning with evidence that he is, in fact, a clone—" Elizabeth spoke slowly, wondering if telling the whole team was the right thing to do. Her wondering lasted only a moment as Teyla, Ronon, Rodney and John snapped to attention and they became instantly alert to what she'd said.

"Carson, please tell me this is some kind of sick joke!" Rodney pleaded with the doctor, whose face betrayed what he was thinking. Rodney's mouth snapped shut and he turned away from Carson, leaving his coffee sitting on the desk to get cold.

"What kind of…proof?" Sheppard asked, knowing full well that Dr. Beckett would launch into some talk about genetics and instantly regretting asking. Dr. Beckett looked up at Colonel Sheppard, a sad smile on his face.

"Well lad, it's got to do with my genes. My DNA. It's a perfect match for your Carson Beckett except for one difference. My DNA is 'round thirty percent older than your Carson's should be—" Carson was cut off by the return of the stabbing pains and took a moment to breathe before speaking again, "—And my cells are deteriorating as well, my organs will shut down eventually and I will die…"

John thanked his lucky stars that _this _version of Carson had laid off the medical terms for the moment, as he began to understand what was going on without needing a translation. He nodded his understanding, but stayed silent. He'd read enough of SG-1's mission reports to know that this was indeed possible.

"So…where's the real Carson then?" Rodney questioned, spinning back around to face Carson.

"I can't be sure, Rodney. I'd be willin' to bet he's with Michael somewhere," Carson sighed and Rodney noticed the slightly hurt look on his face. Teyla saw it too and offered a hand on Carson's shoulder for comfort.

"Doctor Beckett, if the other is with Michael, I can help you find out where they are," Teyla ventured, looking up and catching Elizabeth's eye. Elizabeth realized that Teyla was thinking of connecting to Michael, using her Wraith DNA. She also realized that she would not be able to talk the Athosian out of helping her friend, and so answered Teyla's questioning look with a nod of consent.

"Teyla, Love, you know I'd never ask you to take a risk like that for m'self," Carson had also caught on to what Teyla was proposing and he wasn't about to risk her safety.

"Carson, you know I would do it for you without hesitation. You must also remember that we would be doing this for Laura Cadman and for the other Carson as well as for ourselves. I am sure he is waiting for us to find him," Teyla reminded Carson gently that he was not the only one she would be taking the risk for.

"Aye, that's true, though I know your Carson would never ask you to take that risk either," Carson smiled his usual half-smile, but his glossy blue eyes gave away the sadness and pain he was feeling. His smile struck Teyla as a wistful, sad smile and it pained her to see Carson so upset, even if he wasn't really _her _Carson.

"That may be, but I feel that I must do this. It will be my part in bringing him back to Atlantis," Teyla's voice was firm, her brown eyes glittering with determination.

"What'll we do with _this _Doc Beckett when we find the other one?" Ronon finally spoke up from his place against the wall, his face emotionless.

"I've already taken the liberty of offering him a place on Atlantis. He's been here at least three months without giving anyone cause to distrust him, so until such time as he does, there is no reason I can see why he shouldn't stay," Elizabeth spoke carefully, trying not to let her emotions seep through the fearless leader façade she put up for the team.

"So we'll have _two _Carsons running around Atlantis? Great, two of them will threaten me with needles now. Wonderful," Rodney griped, before realizing for the fourth time that Carson was sitting in front of him.

"Aye Rodney and if ye don't quit bein' such a prick, I'll move yer physical to today!" Carson stood up and came face to face with Rodney, but the mischievous twinkle that had returned to his crystal blue eyes told Rodney that he was only teasing and not truly mad. Still, Rodney made a silent vow to be more careful.

"Sorry, Carson…hey look, I should go to my lab and make sure the new scientists don't _touch _anything," Rodney apologized, slipping out of the room without asking Elizabeth's permission. She shook her head slightly and turned to look at the rest of the team.

"You are dismissed except for Teyla and Carson," Elizabeth dropped the formalities, signaling that the meeting was over, and John and Ronon took off to the cafeteria to get breakfast while it was still being served, leaving Teyla, Elizabeth and Carson standing in the office, looking at one another.

"Alright, Teyla, you and Carson go and get what you need and meet me in Iso room one. We'll do this if you really want to," Elizabeth gave Teyla a Look that said _if you don't want to do this, you don't have to._ Teyla answered Elizabeth's Look with one of her own, saying _I must do this._

With that, Carson moved over to Elizabeth and placed a work-worn but gentle hand on her arm and offered a small smile of encouragement. His eyes shone, saying everything he didn't say out loud. _I will find your Carson Beckett and bring him back. I promise you that._


	7. Chapter 7

Okay chapter 7 is here! Sorry this story is turning out a bit more AU than I meant it to be, but it's fun this way, so oh well!

**Alanna Beckett - **Thanks for your constant reviews and help! Would like to thank you for pointing out the plot-hole that I have hopefully patched up with this chapter!

* * *

**In the stone cell, Carson sat against the wall. To see his face, turned sideways to absorb the coolness of the stone wall, one might have thought he was bored until they'd seen the depth of the thought in his ice blue eyes.**

**Today, he'd not been taken to the lab. He'd been left alone with his thoughts, which might have driven most people crazy. It didn't drive Carson crazy; it was a welcome break from the inside of the Cruiser. No stunner tip in his back, no sack over his head, no long march to the Cruiser, none of Michael's 'incentives'. Carson could just do his best to relax in the cell for today.**

* * *

****_Michael stormed around the laboratory in the Cruiser. All he could think about was that day, on that damned planet. The day he'd begun to remember what those hateful humans had done to him, not once but twice. He'd remembered first, a project he'd been working on ever since the first time. His face erupted into a horrifying grin for a moment, thinking about his success, before the pained grimace of the preceding memories set in._

_He'd been in their Infirmary, poking about for the camera feeds that had told him the truth, when he'd found the vials and tissue samples. Each was marked with a name. He poked around looking for his own name amongst the other Atlantis personnel without success._

_Beckett, Carson, M.D._

_He'd snatched one set of these samples, at the time he didn't know why. He only knew that 'Beckett' was the one who had done this to him. Perhaps these samples could help him get his revenge. It was only after watching those horrific videos, watching the Wraith on the bed scream and struggle and transform into one of them, that he'd gotten the idea. _

_Recognizing the Wraith as himself had made it even worse. He had objected and still these humans had tortured him. Forced him to forget who he was, _what _he was, and where he had come from. They gave him the name Michael Kenmore, had convinced him that he was one of them, and then when he had finally remembered himself, they betrayed him yet again._

_It was after that first time that he had decided he would clone the doctor, the one who had done this to him. Use their own knowledge against them by having their most able-minded medical magician working for him. They would never know it, if only he could find a seamless way to implant the clone into their ranks. When they had betrayed him the second time, they had provided that way. _

_It happened that the planet they had chosen to seclude these 'people' on was also the base of one of his laboratories, and with some convenience, one of the cloning laboratories. For this coincidence, he was glad. It left him enough time, once he remembered his plan, to make a copy of the doctor's mind and transfer it to the clone._

_He had fled shortly after finishing the transfer, taking with him the real Carson Beckett and leaving the clone to be found in the medical tent, bound to a gurney and barely conscious as the other Carson had been before he'd switched them. How he'd managed to do it so seamlessly, without either Beckett figuring out that there were two of them, was beyond even him to comprehend._

_What mattered was that he had succeeded, in a way. As much as he wished to brutally torture Carson Beckett, he needed the doctor's mind intact, and in turn, his body must then be intact to support his mind. _

Be grateful for your intelligence and importance, Doctor Carson Beckett of Atlantis, or I would not keep you alive, fed, and cared for. Continue being useful to me and I will continue sparing your life. _Michael spat that last thought from his mind, wishing it were as simple as killing the doctor for revenge, but knowing that by trusting the humans the second time and becoming wrapped up in their web of lies, he had made it more complicated than even he cared to imagine._

* * *

**Carson's day alone with his thoughts was interrupted but one time, by the loud thud of the cell door slamming open. He turned his head, looking to the door, expecting a drone to come through and drag him out for some impromptu testing session in the lab, but got a very different surprise.**

**Standing in the doorway was the young Athosian he had seen the second time Michael had ordered him to the labs. She was flanked on both sides by Wraith Drones and held in her hands a tray. On the tray she bore, there was the end of a loaf of Athosian bread, a few pieces of fruit and cheese, and a clay cup filled with water. **

**It wasn't the best idea of a meal that Carson had ever had, but it would suit him just fine, he thought. He stood and made his way to the girl, stopping a few feet in front of her. She reached into the pocket of a simple apron that Carson finally realized she was wearing, and covertly slipped him a scrap of paper before handing him the tray and its contents.**

**Michael must keep her, Carson figured, to prepare food and drink for the human prisoners here. It would only be right to have a human prepare food for the other humans, she would know better what a human needs to survive than a Wraith probably does. Carson was jerked from his reverie by the door to his cell slamming shut and he looked down at the scrap of paper that he still held.**

**_Dr. Beckett,_**

**_My name is Charyse. I am of Teyla Emmagen's people, the Athosians. I have heard from one of our seers that your people will be coming. Do not lose hope, and do not forget about us._**

**_Charyse_**

**The note read, after Carson translated it from Ancient. So she remembered him and she had thanked him. Carson mulled this over, realizing that he was far further into this than he had ever imagined. She knew his name, which most likely meant that she also knew of his work. The shred of hope that her note provided him with was enough to make him set his mind, he knew beyond any shadow of a doubt that his team was on their way.**

* * *

On Atlantis, Dr. Beckett made his way purposefully through the infirmary. He made his way to an isolation room; Teyla and Elizabeth close on his heels, and began to set up the equipment he would need in order to pull Teyla back if Michael tried to take over her body. He went through the motions, his mind thoroughly elsewhere.

"Carson," He felt Teyla's hand touch his shoulder lightly and turned to look at her, "I am doing this for you, for our Carson, and for the rest of us as well. I would do it for any member of the Atlantis team."

"Thank ye, Love. It means a lot," Dr. Beckett looked up from what he was doing and gave Teyla a meaningful smile, reaching up to rest one of his larger, rougher, work-worn hands over top of her small, smooth hand. His touch on her hand gave her the last burst of confidence she'd needed to know that she could do what she needed to.

Elizabeth lingered in the doorway, trying to stay out from under foot, only to feel a presence behind her. Spinning around, she came almost nose to nose with a very stressed out, tired-looking Colonel John Sheppard, who had taken up a position behind her.

"Hello 'Lizabeth. I thought I'd just stop in and check on Teyla," John spoke up, his eyes betraying that he'd hoped Elizabeth would be there as well. Elizabeth smiled slightly and turned back to watch Teyla settle herself on the bed and Dr. Beckett start to attach the various electrodes to her body. John caught the smile and returned it, also looking up to focus on the others.

Rodney and Ronon now crowded into the doorway, Ronon just leaning against one side of the door frame and Rodney muttering about something that was happening in one of his labs at the time.

Carson gave a sharp look to the shuffling group in the doorway and pointed to a couple of chairs along one wall of the room. He knew trying to convince them to leave wouldn't be worth his time, so he had prepared for just such an instance.

Teyla looked up at Dr. Beckett from the spot she'd just taken up on the bed, smiling, and gave a nod that she was ready to continue. Beckett moved quickly to her side and took her hand in his, smiling down at her.

"Love, ye know ye don't have to do this. I know it takes a lot out of ye," He squeezed her hand a bit and she closed her eyes. The gentle Scottish doctor let Teyla's hand drop to her side, watching as she focused and tried to reach out to Michael.

Teyla let her eyes fall shut shut, focusing hard on the face of her adversary. Michael, the half-wraith hybrid, the one whom she had tried to trust, and the one who had betrayed her just as she had betrayed him. She felt herself slipping into his mind, reading the memories he was currently screaming out to whatever Wraith might be listening.

The shrillness of these memories, the freshness of his pain jolted Teyla a little bit, just enough for Dr. Beckett to notice her body tense. His hand automatically reached for the shock switch, but he stopped himself short of pushing it. He would only force her out of this if it became apparent she was in further distress than simply being tense.

She picked carefully through the memories in the Wraith's mind, passing over the painful memories of the mutual betrayal and heading straight for the first glimpse she'd see of Carson. He was alive and well, she felt herself sigh and release a breath. He was being kept on a planet, one that didn't have a Stargate. She memorized the coordinates quickly, before forcing her way out of Michael's mind and back to the Atlantis infirmary.

"I know where the other Carson is. He is on a planet far from here," Teyla sat up, still focusing. She reached for the tablet that John was already on his feet and handing to her. Rodney was staring after John, disgusted that the pilot had just snatched the tablet from him. Teyla tapped the co-ordinates into the tablet; hands trembling a bit as she also remembered the pain she had felt from Michael. She handed the computer back to John, and then looked up at Dr. Beckett. There was something else she desired to know.

"I am going to try again. I would like to look for signs of my people," Teyla explained, giving Dr. Beckett a quick smile. Elizabeth gave her a hard look, but then decided it would be best not to argue with the Athosian warrior at this point. She would order Dr. Beckett to pull her out if anything went wrong, that was all. Dr. Beckett glanced towards Elizabeth, giving a quick, curt nod that said he knew what to do.

She watched the Wraith's mind carefully, not allowing her presence to be detected. She saw signs of her people, the Athosians. They were being kept on the same planet. She drew in a gasp so sharp that Michael became momentarily aware of her before she felt a sharp jolt. Breathing heavily, she sat bolt upright in the bed, finding herself face to face with a very concerned Dr. Beckett, Elizabeth Weir and John Sheppard.

"What has happened? Michael became aware of my presence in his mind, although I am sure he does not know it was me," Teyla glanced around the room. Rodney's tablet was on the empty chair next to him, his eyes wide with concern, and Ronon was on his feet, hand resting on his gun. She felt a slight warm feeling as she realized that they had all been scared for her.

"Love, you were showing signs of extreme stress, so I brought ye back," Dr. Beckett gave her a reassuring smile as he turned off the machines around her. Rodney collected his tablet, pretending to be busy looking for the planet. Ronon sat down quickly, and John gave Elizabeth one more meaningful glance before following suit. Elizabeth stayed standing beside the bed while Dr. Beckett was releasing Teyla from all the wires and such.

"My people. He is using them for his experiments. Carson does not know of this. He is being kept alive because Michael needs his expertise on the retrovirus and the Hoffan drug," She stated, her eyes showing the concern that she did not allow to show on the rest of her face. Dr. Beckett reached to take off the electrodes and disconnect the machines, when Elizabeth suddenly realized something and let out a small gasp.

"Teyla, does this planet have a Stargate?" Elizabeth questioned gently, watching her friend think over everything she'd found.

"I am afraid it does not, we will have to find another way to get there," Teyla answered, letting herself drift back into the soft pillows piled behind her.

"_Daedalus, this is Weir. Can you be ready to take two of my teams to a designated planet by tomorrow at 0800?_" Dr. Weir pushed her communication link to turn it on and spoke to Colonel Caldwell aboard the _Daedalus_.

"_Weir, this is Caldwell. We are finishing repairs and will be ready for liftoff at 0800 tomorrow morning. Caldwell out,_" the gravelly voice came over the Comm Link into Elizabeth's ear. She let her emotionless façade down long enough for everyone in the room to catch her smile for a moment, before turning to address her lead team.

"I'll need all of you to meet for debriefing at 0600 tomorrow morning. You will be going on this rescue mission. Dr. Beckett, you'll be going along as well, just in case Carson or anyone else needs any medical attention," Elizabeth gave orders to her team. All of them jumped to the task at hand: prepare the necessary plans for rescuing Carson.

After the others had all left, Rodney to his lab, Ronon and John to the cafeteria and Teyla to her quarters to meditate, Elizabeth turned to Dr. Beckett. He bustled around the room setting things back in order and closing down the room until the next time it would be needed.

"Carson. I know you don't like going on missions—he never did either—but you have the most knowledge about the situation aside from Teyla. You would be better equipped to help…Carson…come to terms with his experience than even Kate Heightmeyer," Elizabeth's eyes shone with her concern, and Dr. Beckett realized it wasn't just for her own Carson, but for him as well.

"Aye, I know. It will take us some time to arrive at the planet, would it be alright with ye if I brought with me some research? I'll be needin' to find the cure for this cellular degeneration problem I've got," Dr. Beckett winced slightly at the pain that shot through his body, and Elizabeth reached out a hand to steady him as he wobbled slightly.

"That's fine, Carson, just as long as you feel you're able to do your job in your current condition. I hadn't realized how far along this degeneration was. I…would hate to lose you, clone or not," Elizabeth's smile turned sad as she took her hand off of Dr. Beckett's arm and took her leave of the room. Dr. Beckett sat down on the bed, trying to make his way through the muddle of emotions and pain in his head. He realized that one of the emotions he was feeling was relief. _Elizabeth and her team really did trust him and care for him, even though he was a clone. _


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note **~ I know I kept promising this chapter, sorry for the delays, I was a bit busy with real life and then fell asleep midway through writing this last night...

Here we go, chapter 8!

* * *

_Michael stormed down the hallways of the old prison as fast as his long legs would carry him, towards the cell that held the Lantean doctor, Carson Beckett. His mind darted from thought to thought, first painful memories of his past life, then blind rage as the memories of the Lanteans hit. What he was about to do was to take a chance, a chance that the human who had caused him this pain might be capable of understanding him._

_*****  
Carson paced his cell, thinking about the letter that Charyse had given him. How could she know that the Lanteans were on their way? Were their seers accurate or not? He was a bit reluctant to let his hopes get too high, just in case his team members were not on their way to rescue him just yet. Still, there was a nagging feeling that Charyse was right._

_As these thoughts tumbled through Carson's mind, he was jerked from his thoughts by the cell door slamming open, but instead of a drone, Michael stood in the doorway. Carson stared intently at the Wraith, noticing the pain and anger etched into his face. He'd never seen Michael look this…vulnerable before._

_"Carson Beckett, I would like you to understand why you are here, why I have asked you to do this research for me. I would like you to understand what you took from me when you betrayed my trust," Michael spoke somewhat more calmly than Carson ever remembered him being, "Do you recall when I said that you had a strong sense of empathy toward others?"_

_"Aye, an' I remember sayin' to ye that it wasn't as strong as it used to be," Carson remembered it perfectly. He'd been telling the truth in a way, his sense of empathy wasn't as strong after two years on Atlantis as it might have been when he was back on Earth, but it was still strong enough that he thought he might feel something…though it could just be lunch-related._

_Michael nodded curtly, and then he stared straight into Carson's eyes, projecting his memories one by one into Carson's mind. The rush of memories was a lot for Michael to sort through, if only to be sure that he hadn't revealed anything of his plan to Carson._

**_The memories began with a rush of passion as a memory of one Wraith Queen in particular flooded Carson's mind. She was beautiful; he had to admit, as Wraith Queens went. The way she looked at Michael with love and care struck a chord in Carson's heart…Wraith were capable of love. They were capable of more than pure anger and hatred. Michael would have done anything for his Queen, and she respected him as Commander of her fleet of Hives._**

**_The next memory flashed through, it was of Carson himself, standing over a Wraith on a bed back on Atlantis. He was holding a large syringe filled with the retrovirus, ready to inject it. Carson winced at this memory, remembering his own view of this scene, the creature he had seen as evil, despicable…from Michael's view, seemed so vulnerable._**

**_Carson was hit with a third memory, this one of Michael remembering his previous life, storming through Atlantis. Running through the infirmary, grabbing the CD case that held the videos of what had happened. The pain of the betrayal was unbearable; searing at Carson's heart the way it had Michael's. Carson noticed Michael snatch the DNA samples from the counter, but didn't think through what he could do with them, there was no time before the next memory flooded in._**

**_The Wraith Queen again, but this time, the love and care was not there. Her hatred stabbed into Michael's heart, straight through him as her cold, icy words froze his blood. "You will never be rid of the stench of what you have become," the Queen says, dismissing Michael with such distaste that Carson could feel Michael's pain echoing through the memory._**

**_One final memory came, this one of the planet where the Wraith-humans had been brought. The memory of the day he began to remember who he was. How the pain was compounded as he realized this had been the second time that he had been betrayed by the humans from Atlantis. The memory of the Queen discarding him as if he were no more than a mindless Drone Warrior only served to make it worse as well._**

**_As abruptly as the flood of memories had begun, it stopped, leaving Carson a raw bundle of nerves as he snapped back into reality and was left staring at the Wraith._**

_"I'd no idea…" Carson whispered, stumbling back to sit on the hard stone bench, his mind whirling with the memories and how real the feelings had been as he'd felt them rush through his mind._

_"That is why I have showed you all of this. You have now seen what your drug did to my life. What YOU did to my life," Michael snarled, trying not to let his voice catch as he still felt the pain of the memories. He stared at Carson a moment, watching the doctor's face. Carson looked older somehow, more weather worn and tired all of a sudden._

_"I am sorry that my research caused you so much pain, I really am…but there's nothin' I can do to fix it now, is there?" Carson looked up into Michael's face, his heart pounding as he tried to fight back the rush of mixed emotions and feelings, trying to sort out what of his feelings were his and what were Michael's._

_"I know nothing can be done to reverse this, but you will now know my pain and understand my anger," Michael stated calmly, before turning on his heel and stalking out of the cell, the door slamming shut behind him. Carson nodded, now alone in his cell, and let himself relax. He'd finally gotten all the feelings under control, and as he relaxed, the creases and lines from the tension relaxed out of his face, and he laid back on the stone bench for a moment to rest._

*****  
Early the next morning, Atlantis was already buzzing with activity as Atlantis' flagship team geared up to begin their rescue mission.

Colonel Sheppard pulled on his black BDU uniform slowly, thinking the entire time about how crazy this mission report would sound—if he ever bothered writing it. He strapped on the black TAC vest, added his usual knife to his belt, a simple black hip holster for his sidearm, and strapped a P-90 across his chest. This was his usual uniform. A quick glance in the mirror and fingers run through his messy mop of hair finished off his preparations and he headed off to meet the others.

In a computer lab, Rodney shut down his favorite laptop and packed it into a brand new bullet-proof Kevlar carrier along with the odd selection of wires and cables he might need if this planet proved high tech enough for his "geek skills" as Sheppard would call them. He, too, grabbed his TAC vest and buckled on his sidearm, slinging the P-90 across his chest and grabbing the laptop bag and a handful of his favorite Power Bars on his way out the door to head for the 'Gate Room.

Ronon tied his dreadlocks off his face with a length of rope, pulled his leather over-jacket on and snatched his trusty gun off of his bed. Several odd knives were slipped into various hiding spots within the jacket and other such places. He flipped the switch, setting the gun to Stun, and then stalked out of his quarters towards the 'Gate Room, nearly crashing into Rodney on his way in.

Across the city, Teyla pulled herself out of her meditative state and followed much the same rituals as Sheppard and Rodney had done. Black BDU set and combat boots, followed by a TAC vest, a knife, the hip holster for her sidearm and a P-90 slung across her chest. Teyla glanced to the nightstand, plucking one last knife from there and slipping it into her boot for safety sake, and then she, too, headed for the 'Gate Room.

In the infirmary, Dr. Beckett winced slightly as the pain returned and gripped the side of a bed to keep from falling over. He was already dressed in a set of BDUs, knife and sidearm in place, and TAC vest strapped on. All that was left to do was pack his medical kit. The large bag lay open on the bed that the pain-racked Scotsman was clinging to, and he forced himself to straighten up.

picked out the usual first-aid bits such as gauze (both rolls and pads), antiseptic ointment, alcohol pads, bandages in all sizes, a couple of instant ice packs and some other things. Daedalus had a supply of other med supplies, but he felt he should prepare anyway. He zipped shut the med kit and slung it on, picking up a nearby laptop case as well, before heading out to meet the others.

Moments later, all five team members stood in the Gate Room, facing Elizabeth.

"I would like to wish all of you a safe voyage and good luck. Please bring back our Carson. All of you," Elizabeth smiled a bit as she gave them the 'godspeed' speech for what must have been the millionth time since she'd become commander of Atlantis.

John caught Elizabeth's eye and gave her a special smile, which was only caught by Elizabeth and the very observant Scottish doctor who stood watching. She returned his smile, mentally telling John Sheppard to be careful. If he died on this mission, she'd kill him for it. Not that it made sense particularly, but to Elizabeth, Atlantis without John would just feel so wrong.

Teyla smiled reassuringly at Elizabeth, a silent promise to her friend that she would do her best to keep John safe and make sure he returned to Atlantis alive and well. Elizabeth acknowledged Teyla's smile with a sharp nod, looking around at the rest of the team members.

Rodney was pre-occupied with strapping his laptop bag shut and making sure all of the components were secured with it, though he did look up long enough to acknowledge Elizabeth with a sideways, sort of frightened look. Carson was Rodney's best friend, and Rodney was scared for him, not that he would ever admit that to anyone.

Ronon hid his emotion well, giving the same stoic look that he usually gave, as if he were unaffected by the circumstance, but Dr. Beckett knew better. The doctor's blue eyes searched Ronon's face, noticing every new crease and line formed out of worry for the man who had saved his life three times over at least by now.

Dr. Beckett looked from face to face, taking in the circle of faces, when a flash of blue light hid them all from view for a few moments. When he could see again, Dr. Beckett and the Atlantis team were standing aboard the Daedalus, about to depart on their mission to save the real Dr. Carson Beckett.

"_Weir, this is Caldwell. We are ready for liftoff; Hermiod has just finished the last repairs to the hyper drive. See you in a few days. Caldwell out,_" Colonel Caldwell radioed down to Elizabeth as he took his seat in the bridge of the ship, ready to fly to Carson's rescue.

"_Caldwell, this is Weir. You have a Go. See you when you return. Weir out,_" Elizabeth watched from a nearby window as the Daedalus began to lift from the dock it had been settled on. She hoped with all her heart that her team would come back safely, with both Carsons, aboard the Daedalus.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes~ **Sorry for such a long delay between chapters and sorry for the super short chapter, school and all my short-story bunnies have been taking over my life, but this is what came of my last Lost Years writing session.

* * *

Aboard the Daedalus, the team members had separated to their various places. Sheppard was in an armory on level three, checking the stock of ammunition and weapons. Rodney had detoured to the Mess to get something to eat before going to the control room to pester Hermiod for the duration of the trip. Ronon was in the Gym sparring with some of Caldwell's men, and Teyla was in her quarters meditating.

Somewhere on the other side of the ship was a lab adjoined to the infirmary by one set of blast doors, and inside this lab sat Dr. Beckett, staring into a microscope at something. He was beginning to feel tired and the pain had returned, which made this a miserable time to be trying to do research, but he had to push through the stabbing knives he felt. If this worked, he would be able to cure the pain once and for all, and he would live.

As he sat at this microscope, watching the serum interact with a few cells, he sighed. This had to be his 85th try in the last three and a half months and still no success. He heaved one last sigh before giving in to the exhaustion and turning off the microscope. It was hopeless to try to figure this out tonight. For now a dose of pain killers and a good night's sleep would have to suffice.

*****  
_In the cell, Carson looked at the marks he'd been scratching on the wall to keep track of the days. He'd lost count, but he would swear it had been nearly two years since he was brought down here. Two years since his team had been unable to rescue him from Michael on that planet. It seemed like two very long years since he had been allowed to see sunlight or breathe fresh outdoor air._

_Had it really been two years? Who could tell when all you saw was the same two rooms over and over again? Carson leaned back against the wall of the cell and sank slowly to the floor. His hope of being rescued was beginning to dwindle. If they were coming, they would have found him already, right? He reached into his pocket to finger the note that Charyse had left him a while back, the only reassurance that they were indeed coming._

_As he sat on the ground, head leaned against the wall of the cell, he braced himself for the familiar slam of the door, the same sack over his head, and the feeling of the stunner's tip pushed into his back. This routine was so old by now that he hardly flinched when the door slammed, he'd stopped protesting when the sack went over his head, and he was never surprised by the stunner anymore. That was pretty bad, he realized as his feet led him down the familiar unseen hallways to the lab he was still forced to work in._

_"Ahh Doctor Carson Beckett, I am glad to see you could make it in to work today. We're starting a new project…well new to me, but I think you've worked on it before. Perhaps you worked with a blonde woman from the planet Hoff. Was her name Perna?" Carson heard the voice before the sack was pulled off his head, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt surprise ring through his body. Perna! He quickly worked out that Michael meant the Hoffan drug._

_"Y' expect me to work on th' very drug tha' killed Perna an' half o' her people?" Carson's face visibly paled. It had been three years, wait no, five years, he figured, since that had happened and it still felt too soon to touch the drug again. He wouldn't risk the lives of any more innocent people testing that drug, he couldn't. It would go against the oath he'd taken in Med School. Do no harm._

_*****  
_Back on the Daedalus, Dr. Beckett had woken up bright and early the following morning to do some more research on the serum he was trying to fabricate, and he'd made a step forward in proving that it was possible to slow the decay rate, but what he needed was a way to stop it, and he was missing something that he just could not put his finger on. What would be helpful right now would be a second mind that knew everything he knew and could help him figure this out.

After what seemed like several hours poring over the cells under the microscope, Dr. beckett wasn't sure if he ought to keep searching on his own or push it off until after the mission was completed. A stab of pain reminded him how critical the case was becoming, and he kept pushing onward, adding a drop of wraith Enzyme he'd managed to save into the petri dish and waiting for it to react somehow. As he sat watching, his radio crackled and snapped to life, startling him so that he jumped right off the stool he'd been seated on.

"_Caldwell to Sheppard, get yourself and your team to the bridge, we are nearing our destination,_" Caldwell's voice echoed in the ears of every member of Sheppard's team, and within moments, all five members of the team including Dr. Beckett, came into the bridge all at once. They lined up in a row to look out the large window at the front of the ship and found themselves staring down at the planet in wonder.

"We're cloaked and in a stable orbit around the planet, but once you beam down, we will be relocating to just behind that moon," Caldwell pointed out one glass panel to a moon in the distance, "to stay out of the way of any sensors they might have down there."

"Well I guess I should scan the planet before we go down there, so we'll know how many Wraith are waiting in line to feed on us and what else Michael might have down there, waiting for a turn to kill us," Rodney, ever the pessimist, turned to a nearby console and began tapping keys. At the window, Sheppard was focused on a spot on the planet. It looked like an old building inside a crater.

Rodney tapped away at the buttons frantically, not noticing that Dr. Beckett had moved to peer over his shoulder at the screen. So far, there were about a dozen Wraith life signs inside the building along with the odd selection of humans. One human life sign was showing in what appeared to be a Laboratory.

"I think I've pinpointed Carson, this should be him here in the lab, but there is some sort of a field around the building. It seems to give off similar signatures to the time dilation bubble that Colonel Sheppard got stuck in once, months passed inside the field while only hours passed outside. I couldn't tell you how much time has passed since Carson was brought here, but I can tell you it is likely more time than has passed for us," Rodney babbled on for several minutes, before Sheppard shot him a look that silenced his nonsense babbling.

"We'll have to disable the field and then go and get Carson out," Sheppard spoke quietly only to his team. Each of them nodded as they strapped their P-90s across their chests and Rodney folded his laptop shut and slid it into the bullet proof carrier. They were nearly ready to beam down to the planet's surface and find the field generator, the first step towards rescuing Carson Beckett.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Notes~ **Sorry guys, been a while again and another super short chapter, but this one is pretty exciting. I know I know, I broke a promise I made to some of you at the end of the chapter but I swear it won't be for long!

* * *

"The device that emits the field is right here," Rodney pointed to one of the rooms on the digital map and then moved his finger to another room, "And Carson is here."

"So we get in, turn it off, get Carson and get out," Sheppard knew that oversimplifying it like that would drive Rodney mad, he did it on purpose just for that reason.

"It's not that simple. The device is probably guarded and also probably requires a deactivation code of some kind, and there are at least a hundred Wraith life signs within the complex," Rodney barreled on, hardly stopping for a breath until he finished.

"Well can you deactivate it?" Sheppard asked, giving the standard 'shut-up-Rodney' eye roll and sigh.

"I can deactivate it if you can get me to it," Rodney turned up his nose as he picked up his computer case and stalked off to collect what else he would need. Sheppard nodded, staring after Rodney.

Twenty minutes later, the team met on the bridge once more. Caldwell looked across the row of faces, locking gazes with each of the team members for a moment before speaking.

"We'll be nearby; we can beam you up whenever you're ready. You know how to reach us. Good luck," Caldwell spoke the last two words as the blue light enveloped the team and they found themselves standing in a small room in one corner of the facility.

*****  
_Elsewhere in the facility, Carson remained unaware that the Atlantis team had finally reached the planet and were working towards his rescue. He stood tapping away at the key pad of the nearest console, finishing off some research on the retrovirus that had created Michael, completely oblivious to the fact that the Daedalus was in orbit of a nearby moon, concentrating on his research._

_Michael walked into the room in a huff as usual, Carson noticed, but made no move to turn around. He instead picked up a hypodermic needle and syringe of sorts, filling it with the clear liquid he had just synthesized. If this worked, Michael might leave them alone…if it didn't, his people would have more to worry about than his rescue. It was worth the risk, he'd decided, to have the chance that Michael might let them off and stop this madness._

_"Beckett. What have you for me today?" Michael asked this as if Carson had something new for him every day. Carson sighed inwardly and turned to Michael, needle in hand._

_"This lit'l beauty, Lad. It'll turn ye all th' way Wraith again. It'll undo wha' I did to ye," Carson nodded to the needle in his hand. Michael stared at the needle, unmoving, as if trying to decide whether the doctor was telling him the truth…and if it would be worth it to become full Wraith again. It would not buy back the respect of the Queen who had thrown him out, but it may give him a life worth living…_

_*****  
_Sheppard and his team beamed down just outside the facility and easily took down the drones guarding the entrance, they were now inside the complex and looking for the time bubble generator, when Rodney looked down at the life signs detector and let out a yelp.

"Colonel Sheppard! I found the bubble generator and Carson!" He squeaked out in shock, not because he had found them, but because the rooms appeared not to be in the facility but on board a Wraith Cruiser just outside it, alone with a single Wraith life sign, which was probably a drone. This was too easy, wasn't it?

"Alright, Rodney with me, we'll go shut off the bubble generator. Ronon, Teyla, go with Dr. Beckett to find Carson," Sheppard barked orders, he didn't like to separate his team but Ronon and Teyla could handle themselves, he knew. So once Rodney had 'picked the lock' on the cruiser, they split off and went in opposite directions.

Ten minutes and three Wraith Drones later, Sheppard stood at the door with his gun poised as Rodney knelt before the generator with his laptop, tapping away at the keys frantically and connecting different cables to it along the way, all the while grumbling under his breath.

"How long is this going to take?" Sheppard barked over his shoulder.

"I don't know!" Rodney said, still tapping at the keys.

"Well you have about five minutes until more drones get here and about three minutes after that until they get past me, that gives you 8 minutes," Sheppard clarified the reason for his question, to which Rodney responded with an irritated grumble and an increase in the speed at which he tapped the keys.

_In the lab, Carson and Michael still faced off against one another. Carson held the syringe in his hand, eyes sparkling and a slight smile on his face, while Michael stood in front of him, eyeing up the needle with an evil smirk on his face. It was while the two were so focused that Teyla, Ronon and Dr. Beckett (the clone) burst in._

_As they stepped in, Michael saw them over Carson's shoulder and stalked past him to reach them. His mint colored clawed hand snatched Teyla by her neck, holding her in the air. Dr. Beckett winced and then half doubled over in pain, while Ronon was about to launch himself on Michael, but Carson threw him a pleading look and held up the syringe, stepping up unnoticed behind the Wraith hybrid._

_With one smooth movement, Carson jammed the needle into Michael's neck and shoved the plunger down, releasing the serum into his body. Michael dropped Teyla to the floor, spinning to face Carson, but before he could act, the serum kicked in and he collapsed to his knees as the change began to take effect._

_"Carson!" Teyla stood up slowly, rubbing at her neck, and Carson bolted past Michael to her. She hugged him for a quick moment and then let go and reached for her sidearm._

_"I'd nearly given up 'ope of ever seen ye again, Love—" Carson cut himself off midsentence as he looked over her shoulder and caught sight of…himself?_

_"Aye, Carson. Y're not crazy, Lad. I'm a clone o' you," Dr. Beckett spoke first, wincing against the now near constant pain of the cellular degradation. Both Carsons stare at one another for a moment, the memory hitting them both: Michael taking the DNA sample from the unlocked cabinet in the infirmary, the bottle was marked Beckett, Carson, MD…_

Sheppard fired his P-90 rapidly at the incoming Wraith, his mind working on a way to get out of the room if Rodney couldn't undo the time bubble in time. He would have to shoot their way out, it was the only way he could see with so many drones coming.

"Got it!" Rodney bellowed, disconnecting his laptop and packing it away.

"About time, McKay!" Sheppard bellowed over the sounds of gunfire, "Get Caldwell to beam us up!"

"Have Teyla and Ronon found Carson yet?" McKay asked, Sheppard groaned inwardly and kept shooting.

"I don't know McKay, do I look like I can go check the life signs detector?" Sheppard bellowed, two more drones went down at his feet.

"Never mind, I'LL check then. Yep, they found him," Rodney tapped his earpiece and spoke in a hurry, "Colonel Caldwell, we've got Carson, we're ready to beam up."

A few seconds later, the white-blue flash of Asgard beams lit up the cruiser and then Sheppard and his team, Carson, and about two dozen Athosians materialize on the bridge of the Daedalus. In the rush of Teyla taking her people to temporary quarters and Rodney, Ronon and Sheppard heading for the mess, the only one to notice Dr. Beckett wince in pain and collapse to the floor was Carson himself.

"Carson, listen t' me. Ma' research on th' degradation is in th' lab 'ere on the Daedalus. I need ye t' look at it an' finish it. Quickly, Lad, there's no' much time," Dr. Beckett whispered to Carson some time later as the stasis pod on the ship began to activate, freezing him in time, to keep him alive. Carson nodded, he hardly knew his clone, but he would not let him die.


End file.
